What I Want to Talk About is What My Mother and I Don't Talk About

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for the ARC I was given of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.

This one had me at hello. Partially due to the hype surrounding it (it has been hyped as one of the books you can't miss this year), but also because there are very few relationships as fraught as the relationship between mother and child. As Michele Filgate writes in her beautiful, gut wrenching opening essay: "Our mothers are our first homes, and that's why we're always trying to return to them." Sure, some of the homes in this essay are dilapidated, drafty places that offer little comfort, but if that's not fodder for the essay, what is?

Like any anthology, there are some essays in this collection that standout a bit more than others and, for me, the brightest star in this collection was "Thesmophoria," an essay written by Melissa Febos about a daughter who continuously pulls away from her hippie mother, despite her mom's unconditional love and support. This essay stood out to because the content was compelling, but the author didn't rely on her salacious background; instead, she used a rich form of mythology weaving to create something poignant and new. Now, I will admit, I'm a big fan of the braided essay in general and mythology, as well, so this one was an easy to sell to me, but any time you have an essay that mentions the author's heroin addiction without the author relying on gritty details to make her case, I'm impressed.

Another standout for me was the second essay, "My Mother's (Gate)Keeper." I liked it because it felt so familiar without being familiar at all. I have never had a set of married parents, so I can't relate to the writer's parents dynamic of enmeshment at all, but somehow it felt so relatable to me as a reader. It was authentic and fun. Even though Cathi Hanauer was talking about saerious issues (the way her father's controlling nature has damaged her ability to have a personal relationship with her mom), you can feel her affection for her father and her own ability to poke fun at her family. It feels warm rather than dramatic and was very readable.

In terms of the weak essays, there weren't really in. Sure, there were a few that weren't as compelling to me, personally, but none of them were bad essays. They were really interesting and they highlighted a variety of voices and issues. I think this is an important collection and I would recommend it to anyone.

Sharpen Sticks and Get Ready for Girls with Sharp Sticks by Suzanne Young

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for the ARC I was given in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Girls with Sharp Sticks, the razor sharp, fiercely clever new book by author Suzanne Young, is the kind of book you will hate to put down. Be warned, though: once you read its final pages and do put it down, you still won't be free from the thrall of this book.

Philomena Rhodes is beautiful. All the girls at the academy are beautiful, poised, perfect--and when they aren't, their behavior is swiftly corrected by the men who rule them with iron fists. What happens when these perfect little girls start to question their own autonomy (or lack thereof)? what happens when you try to keep power from girls?

Girls with Sharp Sticks is a dystopian novel with a definite feminist twist, but don't let that stop you from getting your copy (not that it should, but I won't get preachy on that): the plot is so heart poundingly gripping that you won't be left with a lesson or moral lingering over your head. Instead, you'll be left with philosophical questions about the very nature of humanity. Without giving spoilers, after reading this book, it's definitely my belief that humanity is less black and white than we assume it is.

Do you know what I loved most about this book? It inspired me to ask questions that are so relevant to the direction technology is steering us. As I reached the conclusion, I held my breath as I waited to see where the book was going to take me, but I also texted my husband to ask him to enter into hypothetical situations with me that were completely inspired by the text. there's so much fodder for interesting discussion, so many things to think about. I really enjoyed getting lost in the academy, but I have a feeling that Philomena will be able to leave this world behind more easily than I will.

5/5: This book is a must read. Do not miss it.

Best Read of the Year: Review of The Grace Year by Kim Liggett

A big thanks to NetGalley for the ARC I was given of The Grace Year in exchange for a fair and honest review.

You might be wondering: what would a book that blended The Handmaid’s Tale and The Hunger Games look like?

That’s a very simplistic read of Kim Liggett’s beautiful, haunting novel, but the similarities are there. Every year, the girls in Tierney’s village are sent away to a secret destination to be rid of the “magic” that women have in order to allow them to successfully step into their roles as wives.  Of course a shrewd reader will know from the beginning that “ridding the girls of magic” really translates to breaking their spirits to form obedient wives. As you might imagine, The Grace Year (which is shrouded in mystery because it is protected by a Fight Club level rule of secrecy) is not fun. It is designed to break the girls down in unimaginable ways.

So, what would it look like? If Kim Liggett wrote it, it would look a lot like a masterpiece and no, I don’t think I’m overselling this. The book was hauntingly written in a lyrical, almost hypnotic style, but still managed to keep the tension physical and thick. I could not stop reading this book. First and foremost, this is the story of women and how we are taught from birth to see each other as competition. It is about our internalized misogyny. But it’s also about the way that can and will change if people continue to make changes when they can. Even the “villain” was well developed and deserving of sympathy. I fell in love with these girls and their pain, but man, Tierney. I was obsessed with Tierney and her story: she was strong and brave, but also beaten down by life. She was flawed: as her mother says early in the novel, “[her] eyes are wide open, but [she] see[s] nothing.” It is her experience that creates a deep inability to trust that at times really blurs her ability to see truth.

Small spoiler alert: there’s a love story here and it’s really, really lovely. Normally I hate love stories in this kind of book. Like, you’re dirty and starving and maybe gonna die, but why not take some time to get all swoony? This is not that. It felt authentic and natural, yes, but it also gave the first glimpse of hope in a novel that was readable bleak.

I know it’s only February and this is slightly premature, but this is for sure on the short list for my absolute favorite book of the year. It has been months since I’ve read anything that hit me this physically, this stayed with me this long, that affected me so profoundly. I truly loved this book.

5:/5: Must Read.

Horse and Rider? What? My Review of Tame Your Anxiety by Loretta Graziano Breuning

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC of this book that I was given in exchange for a fair and honest review.

As a nearly lifelong anxiety sufferer (I was in fifth grade when I started having full blown panic attacks, but had anxiety stomach pain as early as second), I always love to check out new books that claim to help with the anxious mind. Anxiety sucks, y'all, and anything that can help is a lifesaver.

I was nearly thirty percent of the way through this book before Breuning started actually discussing ways to handle anxiety. Waiting to get past all the scientific explanations that I'd read a thousand times (and assume other anxiety sufferers will also know) to actually get to help with my anxiety gave me anxiety. Not only did I not like how slow this book was to get started, but Breuning uses this incredibly weird extended metaphor of a horse and a rider that felt totally unnecessary. Have you ever been trying to explain something, but you aren't sure if you are making your point so you keep providing more and more basic examples to try to make things clearer? That was the whole beginning of this book. Every couple [pages it was a new hypothetical scenario that would honestly have been much more appropriate had she been addressing children. Maybe Bruening should write a children's anxiety book.

Then, finally, we get to the meat of the book and Bruening starts to unveil her big strategy, which she says will tame anxiety if you do it every day. Awesome, right? We can finally get to the real heart of things. Except no, because immediately after revealing her strategy, we are in the jungle and rather than explaining how to implement her approach, she's back to convincing us it will work. there is way too much filler in this book and not even close to enough content. In a 160 page book, nearly half of it is useless to anyone who knows even the basics of how anxiety works.

I don't want to give a big spoiler alert and reveal her three steps, but no. they were not practical, they couldn't easily be applied while anxious, and they're less concise versions of books that have just explained it better.

Two summers ago, I read DARE: the New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks, by Barry McDonagh. It is my suggestion that you return Tame Your Anxiety and pick up Dare instead because it was actually easy to follow and contained implementable steps to dealing with anxiety. It was a life changer.

This Book IS the One: A Review of Keris Stainton's The One Who's Not the One

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC I was provided in exchange for my fair and honest review.

Let me set the stage: it was late. I had read yet another book of my favorite genre (thriller) only to be totally disappointed by the predictability and cliches. I decided it was time to branch out more, to make a push towards other genres of reading. This book, The One Who's Not the One, sounded like it was the exact book to expand my horizons.

It's a cute book. Honestly, if I sit here and write that it's an epic love story or a moving drama or something that makes it seem deep, you'll be disappointed. It's a fun, quick read that gives you a warm feeling when you read it.

Cat, the protagonist, is a fun, youngish (maybe, I don't actually know except that she's past college: maybe late twenties?) former stand-up comedian. She's a sweet person with a big heart, but she has "Daddy Issues." Because her father abandoned her as a child . . . or did he??? . . . she is afraid to put faith in love and pushes away anyone who gets too close.

Enter an unexpected love story.

Because of the kind of book it is, it's not a spoiler to say that there's a cute, happy feeling that will leave you feeling sort of sappy and happy. The plot is pretty basic, but there's some pretty adorable humor in it that sets it apart from the more generic romance offering. It's NOT a smut book, but there are definitely a handful of PG-13 scenes between our protagonist and her dimpled paramour.

Give it a try. I think you'll like it.